Temptation.. why were you ever created?

Time to rant!
-Natural granola is hard to chew
-precooked chicken would taste a lot better right off the grill versus refrigerated and reheated
-I drank so much water that I think I will be peeing well into the night (100+ ounces)
-naturally brewed green tea is disgusting!
-I think fish oil makes you poop, I'll have a definite answer tomorrow!
-plain green beans kind of make me want to barf
-my favorite meal of the day was filet and mixed greens (meal #5)
-I put too much water in my protein powder this morning :(

Clean eating is a battle between my inner fatty and my future skinny self!  I bartend in a restaurant in OC, MD.  I was within fingertip reach of fresh hot French fries, a BLT, homemade potato chips, cheesecake, crab cakes, tons of alcohol, sodas, dips, soft pretzels, and much much more!  The amount of temptation is beyond describable and today was only day one!  I haven't fudged up on ONE thing today and have followed my meal plan to the T!  This is very doable, but I feel as though its pretty bland.  (I know that there are ways to eat clean and have sugar and blah blah blah, but I am following this exact meal plan for minimally one month, so as I acknowledge everyone's efforts of suggestions of other foods that are healthy and good substitutions, but I'm not allowing myself those things right now)

maybe tomorrow I will post my before pictures!!!?

dropping the bomb! measurements and weight

 Hello measuring tape! Bust- 39" , waist- 35.5", high hip- 40.5", low hip- 43", thighs- (r)23.25" (L)23.5", arms (R)12.75" (L) 12".  I know this diagram doesn't show thighs or arms, but I measured a little above the midpoint between my knee and crotch and then midpoint from my elbow to my shoulder . (if anyone uses this as a reference guide) since today is day one, I guess I will put it all on the line.  I am 5'8" weighing in this morning at a whopping 181.8 pounds (even though I've seen worse numbers in the past).  A lot of people don't believe that I weigh that much and say that I "carry it well".. blah blah blah I want it gone, and I don't want to HAVE to carry it at all.  I'm exposing myself because there are too many people out there that think they just can't do it.  I know that my "just can't do it" reason is because I quit, I give up, my will power just can't leave that last cupcake in the box.  Today, it changes, because now if I "just can't do it" I'm not only failing myself, I am failing you guys.  Going public is a little tough, but the benefits will see me through to the end!Instead of being a success story, I am going to be a success journey.  Laugh, cry, scream, shout, I am doing it until I succeed.  As always, support is much appreciated! Feedback and questions are a big reason I am blogging!  JOIN ME! oh and stick around, before pictures are soon to come!  Here goes nothing!

Grocery shopping

I went to Food Lion and I was out in twenty minutes and got everything on my list to prep at least for the next few days.  I need to buy a food scale, but Food Lion didn't have one (not that I would've bought it from there because it probably would've been ridiculously over priced). My plan is to eat my breakfast, go to gym, eat meal two, and then prep for a few days.  I will do my measurements and weigh myself in the morning for day one of clean eating.  I already know this is one of the hardest things I have ever done because food is something I am beyond addicted to.  I'm going to say a little prayer for myself before I go to bed tonight.  God give me strength and courage. xo

Almost Day 1

Deep breath in, deep breath out! Here goes my future I hope!  I invested a small fee in a personalized meal plan.  I feel as though it wouldn't be right to disclose exactly what I am eating, however, I will be posting pictures.  I need to post before pictures and measurements and once I get enough encouragement I'll display my fat pictures for all of the world to see, (except only the very few that follow me will get that pleasure lol ) I am going to go measure every inch of my body, get on the scale, and take some pictures! Catch yall on the flip side! Prepping tonight, and starting tomorrow!  And hey guys and girls, I will glady take all of the support and feedback I can get! xo